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Random Avengers Headcanon Vol. 3
Dec. 16th, 2015 01:35 pmBruce Banner is a troll and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. At press conferences, he regularly growls and grunts into the microphone when he starts hearing a few too many questions he doesn’t like, and then plays it off like an accident. “Ms. Romanov, you have an absolutely fantastic figure. Tell us about your diet regimen!”
*snort, growl, cracking of knuckles* “I’m sorry, I was interrupting your incredibly rude question.”
“Mr. Stark, do you honestly expect us to believe that you, a well-documented drunken playboy, have truly reformed yourself?”
*growl, grumble, bare teeth, cough* “Oh. I’m sorry. I was just feeling a little…irritated.”
Avengers press conferences soon become the least newsworthy events on the planet because most of the reporters are too terrified to ask more than, “So what did you have for breakfast today?” Soon, the press conferences cease altogether.
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Natasha is the first one to move into the tower, and she doesn’t sneak in. She knocks like a normal person (if you can call asking JARVIS to let her in ‘knocking’), a half-starved, limping Clint draped over her shoulder. Tony welcomes them in without a word and immediately calls for takeout. By the time he gets back from the kitchen, Natasha’s passed out on the couch, Clint in her lap.
----
For months after Bucky moves into the Tower, the only person he’ll speak with is Natasha, and then only in Russian. Strangely enough, it’s kind, jovial, Thor who shimmies in through the cracks of someone who badly wants to be human again. And he does it in true Asgardian fashion, by challenging him to an arm wrestling contest.
----
When Natasha finds out Steve doesn’t know how to dance, she makes it her new goal to introduce him to every fad that’s appeared since he went down in the ice. Steve never takes to the lessons, but (perhaps unsurprisingly) Thor and Vision both become avid swing dancers.
----
Every once and a while, the ladies of the tower need time away from the sausage fest. There’s an annual poker night whenever at least four of them are in New York at the same time. Pepper, Hill, Nat, Helen, Jane, Darcy, Wanda, and on rare occasion Lady Sif, sitting around a table, drinking wine and champagne, eating chocolate, and pretending that they can beat Natasha at cards.
*snort, growl, cracking of knuckles* “I’m sorry, I was interrupting your incredibly rude question.”
“Mr. Stark, do you honestly expect us to believe that you, a well-documented drunken playboy, have truly reformed yourself?”
*growl, grumble, bare teeth, cough* “Oh. I’m sorry. I was just feeling a little…irritated.”
Avengers press conferences soon become the least newsworthy events on the planet because most of the reporters are too terrified to ask more than, “So what did you have for breakfast today?” Soon, the press conferences cease altogether.
----
Natasha is the first one to move into the tower, and she doesn’t sneak in. She knocks like a normal person (if you can call asking JARVIS to let her in ‘knocking’), a half-starved, limping Clint draped over her shoulder. Tony welcomes them in without a word and immediately calls for takeout. By the time he gets back from the kitchen, Natasha’s passed out on the couch, Clint in her lap.
----
For months after Bucky moves into the Tower, the only person he’ll speak with is Natasha, and then only in Russian. Strangely enough, it’s kind, jovial, Thor who shimmies in through the cracks of someone who badly wants to be human again. And he does it in true Asgardian fashion, by challenging him to an arm wrestling contest.
----
When Natasha finds out Steve doesn’t know how to dance, she makes it her new goal to introduce him to every fad that’s appeared since he went down in the ice. Steve never takes to the lessons, but (perhaps unsurprisingly) Thor and Vision both become avid swing dancers.
----
Every once and a while, the ladies of the tower need time away from the sausage fest. There’s an annual poker night whenever at least four of them are in New York at the same time. Pepper, Hill, Nat, Helen, Jane, Darcy, Wanda, and on rare occasion Lady Sif, sitting around a table, drinking wine and champagne, eating chocolate, and pretending that they can beat Natasha at cards.
