Arukou

Sorry these two are so different in tone, but that's just how they were ordered over on Tumblr

(In response to Reioka's prompt: The Avengers are people that meet in group therapy led by Sam. Sam suggests Tony join them. Tony can never bring himself to say anything during group because how is his trauma supposed to compare to combat veterans, and victims of human trafficking, and extensive child abuse? Tony doesn't belong here. He's just some rich asshole that got kidnapped and waterboarded. (The other Avengers can see it's tearing him apart tho. They want to help, if only Tony would let them.))

I think this is probably something Tony definitely struggles with for real. I think he looks at the things Steve and Nat and Bruce and Clint and Thor have been through, the things Wanda and Bucky and even T’Challa have been through and thinks to himself, “I’m just a spoiled rich boy who got what he deserved. I was negligent and self-centered and willfully ignorant. What right have I got to suffer?” I’m pretty sure Tony stomps his feelings down so hard that the only way he knows how to deflect is with humor because that’s all he’s ever had.

So when anyone brings up feelings or the fact that Tony seems like he’s having a hard time, he laughs it off. He deflects. He throws out a joke and a grin and he changes the subject. Steve gets steered off for a little while. His first impression of Tony wasn’t a good one and Tony’s file was missing key information that Steve later finds out from Nat. Once Steve knows the truth, knows what Tony went through, what he suspects Tony still hasn’t shared with them, he’s a bit more aware of those moments when Tony throws up the shields.

Bruce is another one to deflect, so he sees through Tony right away. The difference between them, though, is that when pushed, Bruce will share. He will overshare. So he tries not to bring it up if he can help it, but on the bad nights, he’ll share and hope that by sharing, he’s encouraging Tony and showing Tony that it’s all right to open up to friends. (We’re ignoring that end credits scene in IM3, right? Because that was callous.)

Thor… Thor is a special customer. It’s easy for all the Avengers, for everyone, to forget that Thor is thousands of years old. He’s still young by Asgardian standards, and it takes a hell of a long time for Asgardians to mature, but he’s still wiser than anyone gives him credit for. He plows right through Tony’s reflections with the gentlest and kindest of touches. He’ll put an arm around Tony and say something so quiet and so weirdly perfect that Tony will just stop for a moment and stare, and then he’ll shrug and change the subject, but he never forgets what Thor says.

Clint is pretty fucked up, but years in the army and years with Nat and Coulson have done a lot to ease him up. He doesn’t deflect anymore, but he doesn’t exactly open up easily either. But on those nights when they’re all sitting at the table at 2AM, Clint is the rawest. He’s the one who just lets everything hang out, no matter how uncomfortable it makes the others. Tony admires that, even if he can’t ever imagine himself doing it.

Nat, strangely, is the person who is most able to coax it out of Tony. She’s seen him at some of his lowest points, and she’s never cut him any quarter, but she’s also never sneered at him when he didn’t deserve it. In some ways, he trusts her judgement because he knows she’s hardest of all of them. If she believed he were undeserving, he’d know it. When he does finally manage to open up to an Avenger, it’s her, and she doesn’t placate him. She doesn’t tell him it’s gonna be all right. She just sits with him and shares a little of herself. Not a lot. Just enough.

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Does anybody think about what an absolute drama queen Steve Rogers is? “Where you from?” he asks Spidey and the kid, who’s currently stuck holding up several thousand pounds of equipment, squeaks “Queens” and then #1 Troll Steve Rogers has the gall to announce “Brooklyn” like the entire United States doesn’t know that Steve Rogers is from Brooklyn. I bet he announced it every time he did an interview. And not even subtly, either.

“So, what’s surprised you the most about the modern era?” (Steve has answered this question in interviews approximately 629,875 times.)

“Oh, I guess the gentrification? Brooklyn–that’s where I’m from, you know–it used to be rougher. Now they charge a new Lexus’ worth for a month’s rent.”

“What do you do in your spare time?”

“Well, back before, I used to sneak in to watch the Dodgers. You know, back when they were in Brooklyn. Where I’m from.”

“Yes, but what about now?”

“Oh, I like to ride my motorcycle out to Brooklyn. I was born there.”

*Host narrows eyes, unsure if he’s being made fun of. He’s totally being made fun of.*

Steve and Bucky make up slang words and then use them around the tower, trying to convince the others that they were real terms used in the 30s and 40s. On any given day, you can hear things like “Holy Popoky, Tony, this new interface is amazing.” or “Fox News really steams my cabbage.”

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Natasha doesn’t keep a lot for herself. Her apartment is spartan, done entirely in neutral colors, like it was plucked out a design catalog. But in her master bath, she keeps shelves upon shelves of bath salts and solutions acquired on missions all over the world, and once a week, she treats herself to a good long soak with a book. The boys know better than to disturb her.

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Thor is a neatfreak. Sure he breaks glasses and mugs on the floor, but he always meticulously picks up after himself. He says gleaming floors and clear glass remind him of home. His private quarters are spotless, shining, and always smell faintly of lemon and cloves. Tony finds pieces of wooden furniture that carry the same scent all over the tower and he can only assume that Thor has taken to late-night woodwork polishing.

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Clint always wrangles the kids when they’re evacuating civilians, and he always watches over any huddles of kids whose parents have yet to find them. Not just because he’s good with them, but also just because he loves kids. All of them. He loves to make them laugh, and he hates to see them cry. He keeps a set of juggling balls attached to the bottom of his quiver, and when all those kids are crying and terrified, he does juggling tricks for them to make them feel better.

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Tony Stark never excelled at the humanities. Literature didn’t interest him (save for scifi and the potential to seed invention ideas), philosophy was a snooze, and while he soaked up languages like a sponge, he never particularly enjoyed them. But he loves, loves, loves music. And not just the classic rock he’s got blaring in his workshop. He loves classical. He loves jazz. He loves old-timey standards and electronica. He even loves that stupid bubble gum pop on the top forty charts (though he'd  never admit it even under torture.)

He loves playing the piano because when he looks at the keys, he doesn’t just see Bach and Beethoven. He sees harmonic frequencies and clashing sound waves and mathematical possibilities. He sees the Golden Ratio and pi and the Pythagorus constant. (It doesn’t hurt that his mother taught him piano, either.) He’ll never tell the other Avengers, but sometimes when he’s the only one awake, and he can’t focus on code anymore, he’ll slip into the lounge, open up the piano, and play.